Jun 14, 2022
O LinkedIn, never change! Your clunky blue-and-gray boxes suit you so well. Like bad office park furniture, you are nondescript, interchangeable, buttoned-up and formal by the water cooler. All this is as it should be. Your algorithmic sins are, thus far, forgivable.
Your un-charismatic, generalized friendliness is just the thing for a digital workplace environment. Easy to cheer on younger people in their ventures. Easy to pass along job ideas to friends who are searching. Easy to get some everyday advice. O joy! You have not mistaken work for all-of-life. You have been so beautifully boring, so appropriately banal. You have said unto me, in a dozen ways: Go. Go forth to the city council meeting. To the PTO. To the shift at the soup kitchen. To the park. To text a friend, one-to-one. Be rid of me in easy minutes. Go now.